About Goofy Froot
“What is Goofy Froot?”
That’s a question scholars have debated over and over again throughout the millennia and quite possibly even in pre-recorded history.
Who are we?
Why are we here?
Where are we going?
Why is it spelled F-r-o-o-t?
Why is there one human named Blake Santiago?
What’s his deal, I have to know!?
Do the Froots eat fruit?
Would that be cannibalism?
Is there even a legal system to uphold Goofy Froot society?
The answer to all your questions and the questions that you’re thinking but are too embarrassed to ask is, “We can’t answer that right now and we maybe never will.”
It’s not because we don’t love you, because we do, we just want you to spend your time focusing on the right things. The important things.
Things like, “How dope are the Gangsta Grapes?" (Very Dope.)
Or “How chill is Chil Pepper?” (So Chil.)
Or maybe, “Does Boss Banana think I’m great?” (We asked, and he does. You are great!)
The bottom line is that Goofy Froot exists simply because it’s meant to. It’s real, the froots are real, and it’s possible this universe has always been here just waiting for us to bring it into…fruition.
That’s how we see it anyway. All we’re doing is building a convenient portal for our two existences to meet and chop it up together.
So please, come, stay and enjoy our Froots.
The Creators, Generators, & Transmutaters,